How to Choose the Perfect Wedding Size

You don’t have to have a huge wedding to have a beautiful wedding.

You also don’t have to elope to have wild adventurous photos. It’s 2024 and the wedding world has shifted a lot in the last few years. Since the pandemic the entire industry has taken this beautiful pivot where large weddings are now huge creative productions, small weddings are intimate and intentional but still with a keen eye for design and even elopements have their own special little creative draw.

How to know what size wedding is right for you?

I guess the answer could be based on budget a bit. The reality is that everybody has a number. We’ve done million dollar events and weddings where I was the only actual expense and no matter where you fall as a couple there has to be a number. The danger in letting money dictate your wedding ideas is that the cost of goods is always going to be fluid and more expensive doesn’t always equal better. So there’s got to be a better way to make this decision right? Of course there is.

The absolute best way to start to dream up your dream wedding is with one powerful word. Intentionality.

This particular wedding was a bit of an oddball for me based on size and scope of work and yet the photos look so much like “mine”. Why? Not because “I” took them - but because I’m incredibly picky about the weddings that I take on. Elena and Ross fit the vibe of the couple I love to work with to an absolute t and the size of the wedding is so much less important to me than the  - you guessed it - intentionality of the wedding. They planned the wedding they wanted, at the location they wanted, in the season they wanted but most importantly with the people they wanted. So where do you even start?

Always start with your guest list.

Before budget. Before location. Before vendors. Before the dress. The people should come first. Remember that whether you’re getting married at a cute little glass chapel in Arkansas like these two, or running away just as a couple to Canada like Alix and Steve did, or taking your favorite 75 people in the world to Cabo like Peyton and Forrest did or having an absolutely iconic ballroom style wedding at an art museum like Macy and Cory did it has to be anchored on one simple concept. Who are the people that absolutely have to be there?

There’s not really a right or wrong answer to that question by the way. Some couples want the entire town to show up. When Jared and I drove to the little town of Camden, Arkansas last year for Sarah Grace + Wes’ wedding we felt like we had stepped into an episode of the Gilmore Girls. Everybody was invited and people that had known these two or their families for decades couldn’t wait to celebrate. For Laura + Stafford the guest list was less than 5 and that included the photographer and the bald eagle flying over head during the vows. An intentional guest list sets the tone for the wedding itself and means that every heartbeat watching the wedding is there on purpose. Be generous, be ruthless. Understand that these moments aren’t frivolous but they are fleeting and these people will forever share the memory of a day that should be protected by you and your closest community for generations. Be intentional.

After you choose your guest list, you can move onto two key things. Budget and Location.

This is about the place most of our clients show up in my life. We’re often the first or second vendor booked for our couples because our dates and availability tend to fill up quickly but it’s the two things I can’t do for you. After 600 weddings all over the world I can help our couples day dream ideas and build schedules. We can talk through dress designers for your build or what formality may look best for the wedding you’re dreaming up. I can help you find moments for champagne toasts and quiet moments snuck away from guests altogether but I need your help with budget and location and the fact of the matter is that weddings are expensive.

Why are weddings so expensive?

Well it’s a great question and it’s a complex answer. (You might check out the complete guide for planning Arkansas Weddings for a more in depth look at vendors and planning) For a lot of the wedding industry the answer is simply two things. One, we can only take on a limited number of clients and do the job we’re really good at because of all of the demands of not only serving a new clients list every year but educating a brand new generation of clients every year (hints the importance of blogs and resources like this one) and two, though this is absolutely an act of service and love it requires a lot of talent to do this job at a high level. There’s a reason why most people are thrilled when they take an iPhone photo they’re really proud of and then expect us to deliver 1,000 high end photos from a fast paced day where we have relatively little control over light and pace and emotion and that reason is - talent and experience. Being a full time wedding professional for more than a year or two is a rare thing and it’s absolutely either a recipe for grumpy jaded frustrated vendors or wildly creative passionate ones. I’ll let you decide which camp I fall in.

Once you’ve nailed down the intentional element of who’s coming, where you’re going to say “I do” and how much you can afford to spend on this wedding day it’s off to the races. For this particular wedding the goal was simple - everything on purpose. We had no idea that we were going to have this wildly wet late spring in Arkansas when they booked me. We had no idea that weather was going to play a roll in the wedding day at all but we did have a plan A that was so flexible it didn’t need to be heavily adjusted when the rain started. Everything on purpose. A beautiful spot where Elena could get ready and have a morning sip of champagne to ease her nerves. Typically we wander into bridal suites and the music is too loud and the energy is too high. Bridesmaids have this tendency to assume that their friend’s want to party from the moment they wake up and there’s often this sort of lack of empathy to understand that a few deep breaths and a little less noise would go a long way. I love walking into a somewhat quiet scene. Natural light, calm, balance. I mentioned earlier I’m wildly picky about who my clients are and I should probably explain that just a bit.

Who is the ideal client for Miles Witt Boyer Photography?

We love the lovers. The couple’s who whisper sweet things to each other. The ones who have lived a little and maybe hurt a little on the way to this day. The ones who make each other laugh but don’t waste time talking about the weather. The ones who feel the feels deeply, who get anxious before big moments, who have tension in their finger tips when they kiss each other. We love the couples who can’t wait to see everybody on their wedding day and then can’t wait to get away from everybody for a breath of fresh air. We love the artists, the musicians, the thinkers, and the people who kind of randomly slow dance with each other when a hug goes on for too long.

You’ve read this far and you’re still wondering How to have the perfect small wedding right?

Well this is it! Be intentional. Find your place. Decide your budget. Hire a photographer who truly cares about honoring these moments creatively instead of perfecting them. Avoid things like “content” and “fake” and anything that adds unnecessary noise to the moment. Let a few raindrops run down your shoulders if it comes to that, let a few tears run down your cheeks if it comes to that. Find yourself in a massive ball room waltzing in front of 500 people or a cute little restaurant backroom cutting a cake in front of 10 but do it all with purpose and for goodness sake put a little extra pressure in your finger tips every time you kiss.

Cheers to Elena + Ross for doing it just right.